My response…why the hell not?
It seems to me that a lot of BLACK WOMEN are offended or have a problem with being viewed as exotic by non-black men. I’m not offended by this description at all. Furthermore, I think the fact that BLACK WOMEN are so troubled by this description is further evidence of how out of touch some BLACK WOMEN women are- or rather how the socialization of BLACK WOMEN and girls is so out of touch- with the realities of the way men think and operate. That might be a little mean for me to say but, let’s get over it and move on. And yes, I do also have to concede that the legacy of slavery in America plays a part as well. But hey, do you want to win in the dating game and learn to use this to your advantage or do you want to continue to be politically correct and languish? The choice is yours.
Asian women are STILL considered foreign and exotic or exotically beautiful to men. There are also some white women who are viewed as being exotic, take models Helena Christiansen and Bar Refaeli as examples. Do you see them complaining about this? Ummmm….NO! They’ve capitalized on it and have used it to their full advantage in relationships and in business.
In her book “Become Your Own Matchmaker” Patti Stanger defines exotic as:
“These women are arresting because there is something unusual and intriguing about them – they may not be considered classically beautiful, but their features are presented in a unique way. They define their own class of beauty.”
Basically it just means different or not typical. Stanger also describes the 5 female archetypes that men are usually drawn to:
The Girl Next Door: Carrie Underwood, Christie Brinkley, or Jennifer Garner
The Cute and Perky: Jessica Simpson or Kelly Ripa
The Exotic: Angelina Jolie, Eva Mendes, or Freida Pinto
The Intellectual: Meredith Vieira or Michelle Obama
The Sex Pot: Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian
Some of these archetypes crossover and, some women can fit into more than one category. Also, this of course is not to say that all BLACK WOMEN can or should be considered exotic- I think I’m more of the Cute and Perky type. But if a man digs my look because he thinks it’s exotic or exotically beautiful I’m not going to be offended or runaway thinking he’s some kind of bigot or has some weird fetish.
Moreover, in the book “The Truth About Men…” Dr. Pat Allen and Don Schmincke discuss why men are sometimes drawn to the foreign/exotic female- it serves a biological and evolutionary purpose! If she is not of your tribe, so to speak, the greater the likelihood that her DNA is different from yours. This ensures genetic differentiation and the continuation of the species as it prevents inbreeding. It also gives the male another opportunity to spread his seed far and wide. Sorry I had to end by getting all scientific on you.
I say, recognize what works for you and run with it! Deprogram your thinking and buck what everybody else has to say!